Walking

I watched a wonderful movie today recommended to my by my friends, Christina and Bob Hill. It's called "Lord, Save Us From Your Followers" and is about the misconceptions that American society has about Christians and that Christians have about American society. It had a beautiful message about the power of love to overcome any disagreement, and about how humility is the calling of Christ, not pride, power or influence.

I wish I knew how to begin making myself a better person, but even that desire is a bit off the mark because it's still about me. I want so much to be a shining light so that people can see what a gentle, loving Creator I believe God to be. I am incredibly flawed--not to speak down about myself, but simply acknowledge that I have no idea what I'm doing.

I resent, very easily, giving of my time and energy if I don't see others putting in the same effort. And yet, no one forces me to put in effort. So who should I be resenting? What I hope to be able to do is say, "Hey, I decided to give. No one made me do this." And give with joy.

Life is too short to be angry with people, or try to make others over into something they're not. And that's terribly unloving.

Really, I just want to love Jesus and love others and love myself in a way that encourages and brings life to those around me. I think most of life will be stumbling toward this ideal, mucking around and messing up, but always getting up and trying again to love.

Love is hard. But love is good.